Dear Grumpy Grandpa


Dear GG,

I have an older brother who is frustrating me immensely.  He’s two years older than I am and he thinks that he knows everything.  Whenever I’m talking to my friends he hangs around, interrupts me and tries to correct everything I say.  When I react to his teasing by punching or yelling at him, it’s me that always gets into trouble.  But the worst part is I think that my friend is starting to like him.  They became Facebook friends recently and she likes almost everything he posts.  I’ve asked her if she’s been messaging him but she told me it’s none of my business.  What can I do?  Please help.

           Frustrated Female in Frankfurt


Dear FFF,

You gotta punch him harder and you gotta yell louder.  That’s the only way young kids ever get to know somethin’ nowadays anyways.  When I was a boy and we punched someone, we punched ’em good.  I ain’t did no half measures with my punchin’ girl and neither should you.  That’ll teach him not to mess with you, and when the parents come runnin’, you threaten him with another punchin’.

And another thing.  That girl that’s sniffin’ round your brother.  You gotta give her a punchin’ too.  Nothing gets me angrier than a ‘friend’ that don’t know when not to cut your grass.  No dog eats where they peeing and the same counts for this right here.  She ain’t to be peeing where she eatin’, but that peeing means your brother.  Or the eatin’.  Anyway, you know what I mean.  And if strong words don’t work – give her a punchin’.  In my day, there was nothing better than a good punchin’.  Givin’ punchin’ and gettin’ punchin’ – didn’t do me no harm right?