As a high school senior, I’ve seen it all when it comes to relationships. From the awkward middle school crushes, to watching friends fall into what they thought was “true love”.
Recently, however, I have noticed the way relationships are portrayed in today’s TV and how it’s influencing our expectations.
Think about some of the most popular shows or movies we’ve grown up with. How many times have we seen the “bad boy” who’s emotionally unavailable, or the overprotective partner who tells their significant other what they can and can’t do? I’m talking about movies like ‘Twilight’, where Edward’s obsession with Bella is presented as deep, unwavering love. At 13, I used to think, “Wow, he’s so protective.” But looking back now, I can see the red flags—constant surveillance, emotional manipulation, and controlling behavior all disguised as “passion”.
But these are the kinds of relationships we see and are conditioned to admire. The media keeps pushing the idea that intensity equals love, that jealousy equals care, and that losing yourself in another person is romantic. What they don’t show is how dangerous these dynamics can be when we begin to mirror them in real life.
Think about the way jealousy is often portrayed as romantic. We’re made to believe that if someone is jealous, it means they’re really invested in the relationship. But jealousy, when taken too far, is more about insecurity and control than love.
Being in a controlling relationship takes a serious toll on your emotional well-being. I’ve seen friends go through it, and I’ve learned to spot the signs early. Constantly feeling like you’re walking on eggshells, like you can’t make your own decisions without someone else’s approval, can make you lose sight of who you are.
It’s heartbreaking to see someone shrink themselves to fit into the mold of what their partner wants. And it’s even more heartbreaking to realize that some of them don’t see it as a problem because they’ve been led to believe that this is what love is.
If you’re in a situation that doesn’t feel right, it’s important to trust your instincts. Talk to someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, a teacher, or a counselor. There’s no shame in wanting a relationship where you’re treated with respect, where you’re allowed to be yourself without feeling controlled or manipulated.
